Photo by it's me neosiam from Pexels

When the sun goes down,
And the moon comes up.
When daylight is gone,
and the night has come.
Everything changed.
At first, everything looks bright then it looks dark.

It's like what I feel now.
When everything is so different.
When we feel like no longer considered.
When I feel like you don't care about me.

Why do you always pretend to care about me when you don't?
I always tell you that I don't want you to be like that.
But, why you never listened to me?
I don't want to be a different person.
But you forced me to change because of your attitude.

I've changed...

Photo by Sebastian Voortman from Pexels

Hi, fæder. I just want to write a letter to you. I know that you'll never read this letter. But here is it...

Dear fæder. 

I know you’re not much of a talker, and in a way, I always appreciated that.
Mom was more of the type to tell me what to do and how to do things, but you were always the type to teach by example.

Words may not have been your strong point, but you taught me what I needed to do by showing me how you would do things.
One of the most important lessons I learned from you was the value of keeping one’s word.
Honesty has always been one of the most important virtues to you.

Even though I would lie when I was a child,
you taught me that coming clean and being honest with the ones I love felt ultimately better than hiding my shame with lies.
You also taught me the importance of keeping one’s word and fulfilling promises to others.

Because of you,
I have been careful about who I would give my word to, and thus, I am known as a man of integrity.
Thank you for these lessons you taught me.
I would not be the man I am today without your guidance and love.

Even though I hated you so much because of what you did in the past,
I already considered it a lesson for me.
Today I have become a better person because of you too.
Thanks for everything you have ever given me.


Bandung, 26 November 2019 ~

Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexels

I just want to tell you that I am grateful to you.
I am grateful that you have spent so much time listening to my stories.

Thank you.
For making me feel better.
For coming when I am feeling sad.
Beside me when I am feeling lonely.

Thank you for believing me.
sharing everything with me.

Thank you for always finding an excuse to remind me that you care about me.
Thank you for everything that you do and everything that you are.

Last but not least,
Thanks for being my tranquilizer.

I can’t thank you enough for all of your support.
It means the world to me.

Photo by Anna Nesterova

Finally,
I met someone who cares for me,
She always told me good thoughts.
She always reminds me to do good things.
When I am sad,
She always hugs me and told me.
It's ok to be sad,
When the guilt and the shame hangover me.
She always makes me feel better.
Thank god,
Thanks for giving me someone who cares
although, She only exists in my imagination.